The Awesome One

The Awesome One

“What’s your name?”  a little first grader asked me on the first day of school.

“My name is Ms. Mitzi, but you can call me The Awesome One.”  I told him.  “What’s your name?” 

“My name is Edgar, and I am not calling you that!”  he said.

“Okay Edgar.  It's nice to meet you.”  I shook his hand and met another new student.

There is a power in words and how you talk to yourself.  If you believe it you will achieve it and all that jazz.  There was a time when I really didn’t believe it.  Most people see a very upbeat and positive person when we meet, but there was a dark time in my world that was full of pain and questioning of...EVERTHING!   I was a stay at home mom and tired.  Tired of the kids’ fighting, the monatamy, the never ending change and yet the constant change of it all.  Everyday it was wake, dress, make bed, make breakfast, do dishes, walk the kids to school, go to the gym, go to the grocery store, come home, make lunch, do dishes, load and unload laundry, pick up kids from school, go to gymnastics and Jiu jitsu, come home, make dinner, set table, do dishes,  run the bath, wash kids, read books, put to bed and start all over again the next day.  There was no glory.  Honestly,  I didn’t want glory.  I wanted recognition, appreciation.  Heck, I still do. Some days I get it,  and most days I don’t.

One particular day, I was carrying a load of laundry up stairs from the basement and the dog was barking, the kids were yelling and crying, and I was singing at the top of my lungs a made up song that goes something like this.  “Somebody, just poke me in the eye  and end this already!  I can not take this anymore, anymore.  Stick a fork in me and just let me die!”  My husband came out of his office and pulled me into the bedroom and said, “You cannot talk that way out loud around the kids!  They hear everything and if you aren’t happy, do not put that shit on them.”  Of course he was right.  He is always right (so annoying!).  I just needed someone to hear me.  I was treading water and I was about to drown.  Grasping at anything to feel like I made a difference, like I mattered to anyone.  It hit me, that I mattered to my kids.  Recently, I went through a death scare.  Actually, I died on an operating room table and a doctor made sure that I came back.  He did not give up on me and I couldn’t either.  Something had to change.  My inner dialogue had to change.  It wasn't easy, but I started telling myself that I was awesome.  Constantly!  I would wake up and say, “Mitzi, you are awesome for getting out of bed today,”  I tripped up the stairs and I would say, “I am so awesome  I didn't get hurt!”  You name it, I was awesome at it.  This went on for months.  I had convinced myself and others that I was AWESOME!  I said it in my head, I said it out loud.  I told the dog!  

I came home one day to a present on the counter.  Now, I don’t get random gifts...ever.  That is not in my husband’s wheel house.  But, today I did.  I opened it and it was a coffee mug (I am super awesome at drinking coffee!) that said, “HUH? I didn't hear you, I was too busy being AWESOME!!!”  I knew at that point, I had arrived at being awesome.   

THE MUG

        I use this principle of speaking positive words to myself, my kids, my husband and my students everyday.  We all need to know and have others know how amazing we are!  What we think, what we say - matters.  It is all being downloaded to your brain!  Science shows, nerves that fire together wire together!   If you think, say and do positive things for yourself, you will become a more positive, healthy happier version.  Let’s upgrade Mommas!  Remember, you are AWESOME too.  You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and twice as beautiful as you’ve ever imagined!  

 

Get dressed, Put your hair up, and grab a cup of coffee this morning. GO!  BE ! AWESOME!  Have an amazing day!